Filling Our Needs

Meet "Mr. Jack-O-Lantern" He is our cat. I may even venture to say he is MY cat. For those out there that do not know... I DO NOT ENJOY CATS! "Jack" came to our home September 12, 2007. Let me explain how it was Jack became part of the Ritter B's.... Funny as it may sound it all started July 2007. We had just arrived back from our Summer Vacation. Early one morning our phone rang. It was our adoption agency. WE WERE MATCHED! A birth mother had chosen our family to love and protect her unborn baby girl. I was so elated! All the waiting and disappointment was over... all we had to do was keep busy and prepare for our Ella Rose to be born. She was expected Mid-September. That is not much time to prepare! So Marc-A-Roni and I got to work... we changed the kids room... made the Perfect sisters room! Oh and we had to go shopping! Ella needed clothes and bows! My parents were schedule to come and care for our children while we were away. I was so thrilled to watch my own adoption come full circle I had both of my grandmothers flown out. I wanted those I love most to have a first hand experience in one of the deepest desires of my heart. I had the ache in my heart for so long. As Ella's due date approached a sick feeling crept into my stomach. 2 days after Ella's due date we received word that Ella's birth mom had decided to parent. I was devastated. I had planed and prepared. I had fallen in love with Ella even before I knew her. I felt as if I was already her mama. Never before had I felt so betrayed. I didn't know who or what to be mad at. Or was I even mad? What was I feeling? What is the emotion beyond sadness? Maybe it was that I was feeling.

How does all this relate to Jack? It was a beautiful afternoon. I had the windows open and was enjoying the breeze. I kept hearing this crying sound. I would get close to the window and the sound would stop. 30 minutes or so into this process of hearing and not seeing a small orange kitten appeared on my front porch. He was so small... almost a pile of bones. Odd as this my sound.... Jack was my grace. He was something I could love and care for. Keep my mind and heart far from my sorrow. Jack has been in our family for a year now. As you can see he is no longer starving. He is a little whacked! One minute he is a cat but before you know it he is acting like a dog... I am not sure he knows what he is. He loves popcorn. And is caught chasing Atari's training leash daily. Jack is the perfect fit for our family.

Life moved on. And in February we were blessed with the Perfect baby boy. I know he was hand picked just for our family by our loving Heavenly Father. How blessed we are to have another son. He has the most amazing spirit! I am amazed how he will stop people dead in their tracks just for a moment to look at his beauty. I know he is part of the grand plan for the Ritter B's. I can not imagine our crazy life without this beautiful boy as part of it.

I can not help but feel a tug at my heart when I think of that dark September day. That day when time stopped for a small moment for me to wonder why she was not part of the grand Ritter B plan. No matter how much I loved her, she is not mine. She has another mother. Do you think we will meet in heaven? Will I be able to tell her how much I wanted her as my very own? Will she ever be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ here on earth? Will we be friends?

I still hope for the day when Our Heavenly Father will bless our family with a little girl. When Jordie will finally have a sister of her very own. I have faith that this day will come. Until that day I enjoy and am ever so grateful for the children we have been given.